It started at a really young age…

I would find something specific that I didn’t like about myself, and try to hide it.

For example, when I was around 8 years old I decided I had big ears and that I couldn’t wear ponytails otherwise everyone would see my big ears.

Later, I decided I didn’t like my toes and that I couldn’t wear open-toed sandals otherwise everyone would see my ugly toes. So I wore socks with sandals — true story. My mom begged me to take off my socks, but I was stubbornly convinced that I had to hide my toes.

Hmm what’s next?

Ah yes, later I decided that I was fat…My thighs were way bigger than any of my friend’s thighs, I think this was the time I started wearing baggy clothing.

These phases would last a few months to a few years, and then I’d move onto the next thing to pick on and hide.

Until my skin. My skin didn’t look perfect like my friend’s skin so it became my next worry for the next decade or more.

My preoccupation with my skin lasted a long time…the more I focused on it, the worse it got. Looking back I see that when I let go and focused on other things, my skin would clear up, but as soon as I’d begin worrying again about it I’d find some new and creative way to f*** with it and make it WAY worse.

I want to share with you something that I learned.

Picking myself apart didn’t feel good. It brought me no joy. It limited me.

I later realised that every single thing I picked apart was either totally untrue, or hugely exaggerated.

Looking back, my ears were never big, my toes were never ugly, my thighs were never fat, and my skin was actually not as bad as I saw it then!

Meaning, I made it all up. By emphasising a flaw in my own mind, my perception of it would make it appear real.

But it wasn’t actually real.

My Breakthrough

One day, I had a realisation that I spent years trying to fix myself…when there was nothing really to fix.

There was nothing actually wrong with me.

I kept trying to fit some mould that I could never fit.

All that I was doing was distracting myself from living my dream life because I felt unworthy of it and I used my “flaws” as justifications for my unworthiness.

I don’t deserve love and attention because *insert flaw*.
That guy doesn’t like me because *insert flaw*.
I can’t do that because *insert flaw*.

The day I had this breakthrough was the day my life began to change. I could no longer justify why I wasn’t going for my dreams…

It’s no coincidence that only two months after I had this breakthrough, I met the love of my life! 🙂

I felt free, I felt good, I felt whole, I felt enough, I felt worthy again, I started to just have fun for fun’s sake.

Because that’s how we’re actually born.

We’re Born Feeling Good About Ourselves

We’re born into these bodies feeling good about ourselves, but then we start comparing ourselves to others, or we hear comments or opinions that we interpret as fact and begin to believe that there’s something deeply wrong with us when there isn’t.

Our prefrontal cortex finishes developing at around age 25, and it’s responsible for our thinking clearly and our reasoning skills…

When we’re young these skills are underdeveloped, so instead of using logic we use emotion.

When someone tells us that we’re not good enough or there’s something wrong with us, we believe them and we begin to feel bad about ourselves. These beliefs become hardwired into our identity.

But the reason this all feels bad, is because it’s not natural.

Any idea that tells you that there’s something wrong with you is simply not natural and therefore not true.

Believing something that isn’t true feels bad — it will NEVER feel good to believe these things.

The ideas that there’s nothing wrong with you, that you are enough, that you are whole and worthy…Now these ideas FEEL GOOD. Because they’re true.

So though we can learn to dislike ourselves, we can also learn to like ourselves again! And not just like, but approve of and even LOVE.

Affirmations For Self-Love

One way I helped myself remember who I really was is to program a ton of affirmations into my phone, so that they pop up throughout the day brainwashing me into self-love to this day.

Even when I’m not consciously paying attention to them anymore, my subconscious is and that’s where all the old negative thoughts were stored…

Here are some examples of affirmations I’ve used to develop self-love:

• I am worthy just as I am.
• I’m grateful for this body.
• All is well and is unfolding as it should.
• I’m doing the best I can.
• I am a reflection of my Source, which is magnificent in all ways.
• I heal instantly.
• Feeling good is natural.
• Today I look for reasons to feel good.
• Every part of creation is wholly desirable.
• God is taking care of me.
• I get to have it all!
• I welcome situations that make me feel good!
• I believe in myself.
• I am worthy of my dreams.
• I am good enough.
• I approve of myself.
• I love change. I’m willing to change.
• I am surrounded by beauty and love.
• I trust myself.
• I make friends everywhere I go.
• All is well in my world.
• I love how easy my life is.
• I know that only good awaits me at every turn.
• I’m compensated greatly for breathing!
• The Universe supports my heartfelt work!
• I easily attract those who need what I have to give.
• I am comfortable with the glory of my true self.
• I love and approve of myself.
• I trust that every person I help, a million more will be helped!
• Everything I need is available to me NOW.

I’ve been replacing the old with the new for years! And guess what?

These thoughts are now totally normal and a part of who I am while, I’m ugly, or stupid, or not good enough are simply not anymore.

I’ve stopped believing those lies, and as a result I feel happy with myself and my life! Because that’s what is natural.

Final Thoughts

I hope this helps you identify where you might be holding onto beliefs about yourself that simply aren’t true so that you can see yourself clearly again.

You can take the affirmations that resonate with you and have them also pop up throughout the day to remind you of who you really are and who you’ve always been.

Get ready to experience some sparkly AF sparkle in your life!

Love,
Olena

PS. Another way I programmed myself for self-love is with Mirror Work. You can read more about it here.